Dorset

Eating raspberries
Half an hour before
you talked of your sister’s achievements

“Not that you aren’t special too!”

And something cracked
as the heartless man in the car-park
shouted an insult
at your beautiful, shaky-fingered Gran

“No, n-no, that was my fault, it – “

The Dorset clouds gathered
snickered and rained fatigue
all down your cheeks

You’re getting older
drip drip
You’re just getting older
drip drip

And a trickle of failure maybe
through the buttons of your shirt

Holding the creased paper bag
a quiet kind of melancholy softness seeping through
Her and through

your younger body standing next to Her

I Poured the Bran

I poured the Bran
I sat on my hands,
I hummed.
 
and I saw that face
from my window
before she was lost in dust
in the plastic keys
on a piano
or on a computer
 
equally futile
akin to crabs scuttling from reach
 
I scuttled too
so did you and he and she
 
all scuttling towards or away from…
it’s hard to tell
 
Through every box I fell into
jingled soft sappy Christmas carols
 
I was lost to it
really
I was lost in the box in which I came
I want to come
I never came
this week nothing arrived
 
No letters thorough the slot
just a waving shadow on the stairwell
 
Just as the foam sat in its bag
I fell sexless I stayed
 
until the microwave beeped
Then I got up
opened a cupboard
opened a door
opened my locked screen
 
faces all but gone
implied only in blue bubbles
pixellated chatter
 
I meant to write 30
but I only wrote 3
 
And I forgot to reply to that email
or tidy my room
filled with presents given or waiting to be given
bags boxes bags boxes bags
 
non-fiction 3 ams
staring into the carpet
with videos of more accomplished people
 
and that’s precisely it
– I want to dive into the warmest colour of myself
but I think I’ve already drowned in the greys around the edge
 
Shoes, pockets, mouths
all filled with pebbles
 
Something needs to be ravished
some building needs to be set alight
banality burnt down in wild, frenzied lines
 
We don’t need that sun in the sky
we need that sun in our eyes

Today at School

Today at school

nobody learnt anything

the teachers were stuck to their desks

the students were accidentally put on silent

we sat in a circle in a classroom

I felt my claws extending and retracting

my words, too

extending and retracting

and my eyes were stuck on the three girls opposite

each retrieving a phone from a pocket

glancing, tapping

putting it down

glancing, tapping

putting it down

extending and retracting

repeat steps 1-3, several times, until the hour is over

and you’ve successfully attended a tutorial

the clock strikes eleven

silently

then everyone leaves

just to step out until 10 past

and then, entering into the next room

for the same scene again:

“hi everyone, did you all have a good weekend?”

“what did you enjoy from the lectures this week?”

ok, let me see.

Tuesday.

the doddering American with his slow, yellow-lettered slides and these are the statistics of my country, the United States, and here you can see FOURTY-five, surprise surprise, FOURTY-five percent of the population denomination legalisation industrialisation

and at this point the phones got pulled out again

and again

sky blue bubbles dotting the theatre

and no-one was listening of course,
but nothing was being said

…we’re caught in our own ellipses

waiting for someone else to speak

You, Me, Next Week

Below me, beyond clouds
a four-day morning
we’ll sleep
and we will wake

Those hours, I’ll be humming
my toes on the edge
the blanket
the mist out the window

Your profile
a Roman myth
soft as you hand me the mug
smile like a grey, soft sky

To open and breathe
black, hot, bitter
the music pours out like wine
and you,

You
resonate on my tongue.

A Wave

A shell lies waiting
beaming in a ray of light
(my hand)

We lie in a hot room
smiling around the curl
of the shell

Bright blue, a day away
and a dream
falling

In the thick of the last night
I sang to the shell
the melody ran in a wink

Trailed off into the heaving sea
there’s no more
and I’m on a plane

And suddenly what I had is gone
disappeared
(a wave)

Divisions


dividing orange-yellow days
finite as ever before
fixing glasses on a tuesday
to the tea I hold today, on a wednesday
 
staying immaculate with purple lips on a night
frustration over dinner just a wisp
in the wind of the moon upstairs
and perfume spilling as water, your breath
 
though
I spoke of nothing yesterday
each minute a metal rod
collected around our feet
far from made-up cobwebs in the shop
 
sitting downstairs in the library
a face in a stripe of light
and a woman in pink outside
carrying the skeleton of a forgotten animal
 
the frowning building next-door
a wish and a hope
encased soft in white bread
suffocating silent in plastic tears
 
but enough nonsense now
for this year is better
and the leaves we hold onto
as they fall of their own accord
 
glimmering shadows
past the paint of
your fresh cream door

Six o’clock and I’m sitting upright


April 1st April 4th April 7th, 18th, 25th
blank upper-space A4
Pound, occupation: Modernist, why?

3 hours for self-improvement 101
it’s all you could find
looking at the clock to write the numbers on your hand
from the get up, the get go:
information leak 0.25, 0.5, 0.75

praxis, parallelograms, politically, philologically
fixated frustrated frowns –
Forward it through, friend.
Friend?
For what, for life? for coffee?

you’ll have to wait, then
this won’t be finished until oh, Your application has been received, tick
? Yes, oh, yes, uh
skinny flat white no sugar please
$3.40, $3.80, $3….
and what are they, those slices of – could you tell me -? Never mind

Running late, meet me on the corner
behind building 9 no building 10 no
Skip that, today is rehearsal week 5
1.2.8.

Wait,
I
missed it