Again, Milk and Light

screen-shot-2016-11-02-at-11-22-40-pm 

Circular stains from the milk that

dribbled down the side of

the all-day drinking cup;

 

A near-perfect venn-diagram

only visible when the 4pm light

peers into my aquarium home

 

It’s like your concerned brow and

my bullet-beating heart on Skype

yesterday with the drinking cup and yours

seventeen hours behind

 

We battle to find

that rounded diamond of understanding

as hours tick by

 

In between the months and the all-day screen

always the same screen, the same concerns

and the same bullets

 

Dribble down the side

as light pours in: 4pm, 6pm, 10am & again

 

A frustrated dance around the diamond

On either sides of the all-day screen

with cups and confusion and love

 

An unanswered question

ticking beneath the desk for both of us

The Year Pt. II

So fast forward three months
see me sprawled,
alone
clothes in piles like grubby religious offerings

The harsh grey morning
heaving its way in
past ten o’clock

My mouth open,
bottle and glass
still sitting on the side
9 hours later

Crumpled receipts and coins
one boot still on foot
noone else in the room, or the house

The faint smell of burnt hair
when I reached to open the window, late
forgetting the candle was lit

When with a rude shock,
the bouquet of dying flowers
lost its balance
fell hard and loud from table to floor

1am Petal scraps
slowly becoming dust
in the stale days that follow

Yet I’m still asleep
hair over face
frowning in my mottled dreams

Whilst a beer bottle downstairs
dribbles the last of its contents
and rolls under the sofa

The Year Pt. I

That morning
after a late one,
laughing and falling back asleep
or one is asleep
the other just holding her
watching light flicker on the wall

Neither knows what time it is
both know it doesn’t matter
there’s no time
with you
half-asleep

Last night faded faraway
and you in my
arms here,
the white sheets and me
cradling you asleep
fingers softly on
the pillow

A phone buzzes
but there’s nothing
outside of this room,
nothing
to take you away from me, now

Nothing but time

To Remember

Some things that I forget, and that other people forget too – that remembering will probably make life more wonderful, for all involved.

'Untitled: Night' Watercolour 2015

Focus and be aware. The more attention you pay to an activity, a lecture, a friend’s troubles, a stir-fry, the more you will enjoy it, be engaged with it, and remember the experience. Be aware of your surroundings; the sound of the wind through the trees, the cars passing by. Be aware of the people who surround you; their thoughts, reactions, what they might be feeling based on their own individual context. Be aware of yourself; notice how you are unintentionally tensing your jaw, how delicious that toast was, why you feel irritated after scrolling through your news feed. Put your phone away. The aim is to live life in flow, so focus – one thing at a time. Concentrate on what is important in every moment.

Do not be too hard on yourself. List your daily/weekly achievements and do not do anything until your emotions, thoughts, anxiety/stress/frustration/sadness have been addressed and calmed.

Surround yourself with productive, honest people who make you happy and inspire you. Limit your time spent on the social periphery in regards to who is important. Don’t waste your time and money with boring, predictable coffee dates or beers, but be open to new people and try not to take them simply at face value. Remember, many people in their 20s are wrought with insecurities – as are you, to some extent – so be warm, but do not compromise yourself or go out of your way to accommodate them and their expectations. Limit the wide range of people you spend time with on an organised basis, so that you enjoy fulfilling friendships that are not shallow. You want relationships that are solid, authentic, and genuinely help to make you a better person. This applies to online, geographically challenged relationships just as much.

The brain and the mind are much more affected by the body than you think. This is why exercise, meditation and health are important. Mood can be changed by changes in the body – go for a walk or a run if you are feeling mentally tangled or stuck.

Minimalism. Less is more. Try to cull unnecessary items, documents, objects that are lying around, and clothes/shoes/jewellery that you no longer wear. Finish one of the many books you are in the process of reading. Clear up the paper, materials, bags, magazines and other things that decorate the floor. Put them away. You should only really need 3-6 pairs of shoes, likewise jackets. Focus on quality rather than quantity – and don’t discredit that phrase just because it has become a cliché. Think about it; the less you hold onto, the freer you are.